The alarm screams through the silence of the morning, screaming, shouting, never ceasing. She turns over, eyes still half closed and reaches for the alarm that has interrupted another night of dreamless slumber. Fingers dabble with the buttons unwillingly, trying to silence the device that is determined to wake her; however, as soon as the silence falls over the dimly lit room once again, she continues to stay in bed. She doesn't move, she doesn't roll over to allow a calming slumber to fall over her once again; instead, she lay there, staring at the blank, black screen of her laptop that has been set so neatly besides the strange bed. Minutes tick by, minutes in which she attempts to pull herself out of the hole she has figuratively crawled into, minutes in which she tries to free herself from the dread that fills her heart. The loneliness has started eating its way through her mind now, making her immune to any sense of happiness. Blue-green eyes tear themselves away from the black void and find their way to the thin red lines carved into skin. Tears immediately begin to well up in the eyes of this young lady as she recalls the emptiness, the pain and anguish that has been haunting her for the past few weeks of her life. A silent gulp refreshes her lungs from the choking sensation that has suddenly delved poison black nails into those vital organs.
It's happening again. Her past is coming back to haunt her, that lonely past that she thought she had escaped months ago. However, it's back again, bleeding with a new ferocity... and the voices. Damn those voices are back, whispering coaxing words of subtle agony into her ear, driving her forwards to commit this blasphemous deed. She has access to so many blades, so many glorious sacred shining silver blades that this addiction can feed from.
She shakes her head in a silent denial, she does not want to succumb to the will of those persuasive voices. She tries to deny them of their desires.
She stays in her bed, rolled up underneath the duvet. Arm hidden beneath the blankets so that prying eyes may not catch another glance at the destruction caused. There's too much at stake; her sanity is on the line. Another tear gently cascades down the cheek to be buried upon the pillow on which her delicate head lay.
She knows that her day has to begin at some point.
Eventually out of bed now, she pulls her clothes over her head, eyes reflecting the dismal melancholy written in the gloomy overcast sky, as tear drops rain from the heavens above. A soft sigh escapes her lips as she turns towards the mirror. Her eyes lock onto those of her reflection. No longer are they glimmering with the green-blue mirth that is normally seen within them, but instead they are mere orbs imitating the grey sky. She cannot sway her eyes from those of the reflection, she cannot bear to tear them away from the pain and anguish that they have uncovered. The source is unknown, but it's still there like a haunting nightmare that will never fade from her imagination. It's almost as if death is urging her forwards, flirting with her every waking second that she stands in front of this mirror.
The smell of coffee smothers the room with its overwhelming scent, leaving her there to enjoy the warmth that it provides. She sits on her bed, holding the cup, nurturing the tears that fall down her cheeks, while the sadistic blade sits upon her desk glaring at her, beckoning her forwards. Temptation has reared its head, temptation is there whispering the bittersweet sounds in her ear. She can no longer take it. The coffee mug is slammed down upon the table with a soft thud, and soon she finds herself sitting in front of her desk carving out her frustrations upon a soft, supple canvas, which is soon painted red. The sensation that races through her body is overwhelming. It feels to good, so enticing that she cannot stop.
However, after a few breath-taking seconds, she has had her fix for the next few hours that she will depart from her room. The addiction dying down for a while, like a large beast laying its head down to fall into a deep slumber.
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